Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
