I wish you could order shots online.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
