Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
