All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
