so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
