She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
His nipple licking is glorious
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