I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
