so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
then he tried to convert me to islam
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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