I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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