he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
