But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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