I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
