how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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