I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
