using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize