Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
