At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
