apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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