IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize