I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
