But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
