Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
