it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Less talking, more tequila
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am one with the molecules
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
