Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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