I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I love having hate sex.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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