If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
