Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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