return my video game
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
