Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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