Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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