Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
