It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
