Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
