ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
