Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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