He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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