i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
