I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
