The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
