Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
