My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
