The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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