you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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