Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
