I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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