Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
