my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
