it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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