Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
