If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize