Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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