Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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