Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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