her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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