No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
