Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
