you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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