I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize