sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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